Whilst I was out there, I started to play 'what if...?' I am not keen on playing that game, especially now - because well, you know there is no point in discussing what if .. because, yes, everything will be different if... Anyhow it reminded me that at some point Mr MiH and I were discussing actually living in the Netherlands, him sticking to his job, and me finding one - and buying a house, we already had views on one. As you can see we were ready to make the commitment. But it was not to be, and I was the one who stayed in the UK job, and Mr MiH who found a job back here. It has been busy in the last 5 years, and I never had time to reflect on what if...
Could the Netherlands be my soul country? I knew the UK was my soul country - the country you want to live in even though you might not be able to speak the language properly and knowing that your parents would (utterly) disapprove. I knew when I was 16/17. I moved across when I was 19. It was the right thing to do, I saw a landscape, and just knew it was the one I had seen in my vision. And I gave up everything in France - not that there was a lot to give up, my studies mainly, and made a life for myself in Britain. I was given the opportunity and I took it.
Even after what happened to Leo, I did not regret living my decision. As you can imagine, I received a lot of (unhelpful) comments telling me that it would not have happened had I been in another country (mainly France). In fact it had happened, I researched the topic extensively, and there are similar cases to ours. It does make it better (at all), it just means it could have happened elsewhere.
So have I missed the opportunity of a lifetime not sticking with the Netherlands, and giving up at the first hurdle - was it my soul country? It was really appealing - I love the sea, the water - this is a country according to my own heart. We had many friends nearby, we had a life out there (we did not in London). Amsterdam is a very exciting city, and yet not as big London and therefore manageable. The pace of life is a bit slower than here near London. But on Sunday I was glad to be back, and it made sense that I gave up after the first hurdle. My soul country is still Great Britain. I asked Mr MiH whether he missed being in the Netherlands, and thought we missed an opportunity. No was his answer, so I suppose we will stick to Britain for the time being!
Have you got a soul country? Did you give up a life to do what feels right?
