Bonne nuit mon bebe - je t'aime

Friday, 30 October 2015

Today I have to do the unthinkable, bury my own baby. 

There are no words for what we are going through. People have tried to advise us on what we should be doing, feeling or saying. This is upsetting. Because at the end of the day, I was the one who had to find words to explain to Baby MiH that his little brother will not be there anymore. 

There is sadness and happiness in our house. Because it is still ok to be happy, and it is ok to be sad too. I scheduled this post so that it coincide with the mass celebration. I am not sure how to convey how lucky we feel that we got to spend time with him and glad for the memories. This poem that will be read at mass capture the sadness and happiness we are experiencing. 

I’ll lend you a little child of mine’ he said,
‘for you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead.
he may be six or seven years or even two or three,
but will you, till I call him back take care of him for me?
he’ll bring his charm to gladen you, and, should his stay be brief,
you’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return, 
but lessons are taught down there I want this child to learn
I’ve look the wide world over in search for teachers true
and from the throng that crowd life’s lanes I have selected you
now will you give him all you love nor think the labors vain,
nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?’

I fancied that I heard them say ‘dear Lord thy will be done, 
for the joys the child shall bring the risk of grief we’ll run.
we’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may
And for the happiness we’ve known forever grateful stay.
but should the angels call him much sooner than we planned 
we’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.


  1. Rest in peace little baby MiH
    All our love xxxxx

  2. my heart is breaking for you, Nat. All my love to you, today and always xx

  3. My heart breaks for you Nat. There are no words. Rest in peace beautiful baby MiH.

  4. Lots of love to your family. Rest in peace little man xx

  5. I can't imagine how painful this is for you and your family. I wouldn't dream of advising you of what to think, feel or say, but I hope it helps to know there are people who, although we have only 'met' you through your blog, care about you and our hearts go out to you.

    Rest in peace little man xxx

  6. Sending you love and best wishes. What a beautiful poem. You are dealing with something that no one else can understand, even those who have lost a child - everyone has to find their own way through it. Wishing you peace. Juliex

  7. Thinking of you all, today and always.
    rest in peace precious x

  8. Send you and your family all best wishes. I am thinking of you.

  9. So much love goes with you, Little One, and prayers of comfort for your family.

  10. Sending you lots of love, cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through.

  11. Oh Nat...such beauty, such pain, such strength....thinking of you often.

  12. Hoping that the thoughts and prayers of allall these people who've never met you in real life may some day bring some comfort. Thinking of you and your family today x

  13. I love the poem, Nat. My heart breaks while I read this post. Just put your hand up to those ppl telling you how to feel, think, etc. Everyone grieves differently. You and your family do it however it comes out. Rest in peace little one.

  14. Such beautiful words for a beautiful family. I'm happy you have found comfort in them. Bless all of you x

  15. There is nothing I can say except you are in my thoughts . Take care xxxx

  16. truly the most heartbreaking thing imaginable. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  17. My heart goes out to you....there will be a void. Peace and comfort to you and your loved ones.

  18. I continue to think of you and your family every day. I hope that you are able to lean on each other for support when it's all too much to bear.

  19. I'm one of those people that just doesn't know what to say, so I've said nothing, I'm sending so much love your way though, to you and your family, I hope it reaches you when you most need it xx

  20. That is a beautiful poem... I'm apalled to hear that there are people trying to tell you what to do at this time... I think you are the best judge for that. I also think you are an incredibly strong mama to choose to keep going for Baby MiH. *Hugs*