Monday, 1 February 2016
Hello February! Depressing January is finished. Actually it went very quickly for me. I am back at work - and it is good to have my routine back on track and feeling a bit independent. However it has also been hard to be back where I used to go, working with the people I used to know, not knowing who I am anymore. My work used to excite me, working with all sorts of people (albeit mostly men - thank you glass ceiling), managing to push through ideas. But now I am back in the same culture with the same people, working on the same issues - when I have been on a steep learning curve about everything (except work). I will not make a rash decision about this - it is easy to come back, reactivate my network (not so easy to tell them why I was gone for so long though) and do what is expected of you (without thinking too much about it). I know it is not a long term solution, but a stable medium-term solution.
And I am comforted after talking to friends and colleagues who seem to go through a sort of mid-life crisis in a major way, and are more lost than I am. To be fair, I have read a few magazines in the last week (a business travelling delight) and found that everyone is talking about the fact that women should be happy and why we are not. So no wonder my friends are feeling fragile. They have a full life, and have been going at it for the last 10 years, the career, the husband (still there or not anymore), the kids etc. and now they are in therapy (not all my friends but some). At least they have a way of dealing with this period. I will keep drinking my green juice, go back to healthy eating, crafting and reading about creating meaningful moments and surrounding myself with meaningful objects (and keep my matching underwear in check).
I carried on with my (future) clutter free home, and kept a sixth of my clothes - and oh it felt good - soooo gooood, and it feels amazing in the morning as well. It has also energised me for craft projects. I can see what I like to wear now, the finishing I prefer. It is a great experience. And I cannot wait to start with my kitchen - and get rid of it all. Now Mr MiH is really scared. He can see I am on a roll, and that this little machine is not slowing down.
Except when I am knitting of course. I may have over committed myself recently and be quite upset about it (hence not a little post to go on about last week). It feels like my craft time ( ie dedicated to projects for myself or my family) is non-existent. I find it highly frustrating but being it all down to my own decisions, there is not a lot I can do - just suck it up and get on with it. Mr MiH asked whether there was a lesson to be learnt here, I just looked in anger at his smug face, because he is right there is a lesson, but stating the obvious is not helping right now. I made a schedule to allocate time to my projects, so hopefully these can be shared here soon.
Depressing January is gone, welcome cold February! And travelling. We will be in the Netherlands this weekend - did I tell you that Mr MiH used to work there - and to France for our annual skiing trip (with in situ babysitting facilities, of the best kind, aka my parents!). Exciting times! Who is excited about February?
This photo was taken during the same one day of snow we had in January. I maximised on the opportunity, and took as many pictures as I could - in case I needed them for the blog because you never know when a picture of snow is needed.